Family History

It's been two and a half years since my grandfather passed away. So today I want to switch gears and talk about him.

I never realized as a kid how special he was. I never realized that he had such great moral values, but looking back on his life now I realize that my grandfather was a great man and I am very proud to claim him as MY grandfather.

It started out as a love story. My grandfather met my grandmother and he said it was love at first sight. They "courted" for about a year and then they were married. But shortly after being married my grandfather got drafted into WWII. My grandmother decided to fill her time as a school teacher. She had a great love of children.

Here in itself is another amazing story... He was a combat medic and he survived! I don't know what he was like before he went to war, but I know what he was like after. He was still a people person, but I knew he carried scars in his heart. My grandfather was a hardened man. In military terms we call it bearing...

My grandfather was gone for three years before he could return to his love. Once he returned, they settled bought a house and then several years later they started having kids. They had my mom, my uncle, and my aunt.

One day my paw-paw took my grandmother to the dentist because she had a tooth ache. The dentist lanced it and told her to go on about her business. The problem was, it wasn't a tooth ache at all... It was cancer.

Two years later my grandmother died. In 1961, there was no good cancer regiment. My grandfather took her all over the country to specialists. He even took her to NYC and then he tried to make it fun for her while they were there. He took her to the Statute of Liberty and The Empire State Building. He spent every dime he had trying to save the "love of his life" but in the end it didn't work.

Here in itself is another amazing story.... Back in the late 50's and early 60's it was socially unacceptable for a man to be a single father. If something happened to the mother, the children were always shipped off to the orphanage. It was taboo for a man to raise his children.

After my grandmother died, they came and told him he had to ship his children off to the orphanage and my paw-paw looked at them and said NO!! He refused to do it. He said I will do whatever it takes to my family together. He was always very realistic about it. He said I know it's going to be hard. I know there are going to be changes, but we will make it and that's exactly what he did.

He raised his kids all by himself and he said many times it was not easy. I'm sure many single parents would tell you the same from today's time. I believe that it was harder back then though because it was a social taboo. There weren't a lot of resources for single parents and he had to learn parenting by trial and error... not that all new parents don't do that, but you get the idea.

I know from experience in my own family that when you depend on somebody else's help it is very hard to have to re-adjust into going solo.

Of course, he had issues with his two girls. My mom (since she was the oldest) got put in the mom position. At the age of 12, my mom had to begin cooking breakfast and dinner for the family. In addition to that, she had to start doing the entire family's laundry and basically fulfilling the role the mom would play. I can remember many times, my mom saying, all she wanted to do was go outside and play with all the other kids but instead she had to stay inside and cook or do laundry.

It wasn't fair to my mom, but it had to be done. My paw-paw couldn't do everything. Even to this day, my mom is still kind of the head of the the siblings. They still ask her for advice and comfort.

The point is, we all have choices. In everyday life, we all have choices that will affect us in ways we won't realize until much later in life. In my paw-paw's case, he knew that his choice would affect him immediately, but he didn't know how it would affect the kids until much later.

So I want to give him the credit that is due him. He was a great man. He had a strong moral and value system and he didn't let anyone sway him from them. He didn't care who you were.

On an ending note, I just want to briefly convey one of my very last memories of him... Some of you may or may not know, but I was a US Marine. When you are done with boot camp, the Corps hold a "graduation" for your family. I want every one of you to know, my Paw-Paw was there. He drove hours upon hours just to come see me graduate. For the first time in my life, he told me how proud of me he was. He didn't have to tell me though because I could see it in his eyes. He was beaming with pride. Someone and I don't know who caught a picture of him speaking to me and then breaking into a hug. It is my most cherished picture I have of him now because I can go back and relive the words he said to me and the feelings I had right at the moment.

I love you Paw-Paw!!!

Changing Gears (Explicit Language Warning)

So I am going to change gears here for this blog. I have something that has really been bugging me and I feel like I need to get it off my chest...

How many times in your life have you met a person that refuses to take responsibility for their own actions? It's anybody or anything's fault besides my own. That ideology makes my blood boil! Can I start smacking people yet? GRRR!!! I won't go into details because I tend to be a private person, but I can tell you this... At the end of the day you had a choice and you made it. Whether it was good or bad no one forced you to do anything you didn't want to do.

My next thing is "I didn't know it was wrong." Excuse my language, but BULLSHIT!!! If you didn't know it was wrong why did you go to such great lengths to lie about it? If you didn't know it was wrong, why did you put so much thought into hiding it? Why did you go to so much trouble to keep it a secret? All I can say is the hell you didn't!!!

I have no use for this. None. The first step into being the person you want to be is being able to admit that it was ALL your fault. The second step is to be remorseful. I mean REALLY being sorry... not just some dumb act. I'm hear to tell you people see through the scam. Third, figure out the problem and you tackle that problem head on. You do whatever it takes to fix it and I'm not just talking about doing whatever it takes to make it right between you and the person. I'm talking about having the gumption to feel things you never wanted to feel. Having the gumption to deal with the issue(s) that caused the problems to begin in the first place.

Changing is not easy. No one ever promised a bed of roses... But at the end of the day you either have what it takes or you don't. If you don't then it's time for you to go crawl under a rock and die. Life is all about change. You either adapt and overcome or you die.

I get sick and tired of hearing some people's sad sob stories about why they couldn't make it. I'm hear to tell you yes you can. If you want something bad enough, you'll do whatever it takes. If you want to overcome drugs and alcohol, you do whatever it takes. You dump bad influences... you change your life and the schedule. You stop going places that make you want to do the same things. In other words, you do it because you want that change.

It's time to cut the bullshit. Stop being a damn coward. Stop with the dumb excuses. My patience is gone.

Oh Snap You're Full Of Crap!!

How many of us have had frenemies? All you ladies know what I'm talking about... A frenemy is 1/2 friend and 1/2 enemy. In our daily lives, we all have to deal with unpleasant people. Sometimes, we have to deal with people like this because of our jobs or other requirements.

Here's my philosophy though: Why should I have to deal with someone like this on a constant basis in my personal life? Why should I expose myself to people who will stab me in the back? I understand that concept in the business world. It's my job to stand my ground. It's my job to woo this people, but why should I have to surround myself with people like this in my personal life?

My personal life is just that... personal. I should be able to surround myself with people I trust and feel at ease with. Why must I remain on guard 24/7? That gives me no time at all to enjoy the things I like. It gives me no time to live life.

We spend enough time working. We spend enough time having to be around people that we would really rather not be around. So I have decided that I am done with frenemies in my personal life.

If they aren't someone I can trust then I have no need for them. I am not dishonest or untrustworthy. There are some traits that I despise and won't tolerate them. Like lying... I'm not talking about little white lies like honey does this make my butt look big kind of lie... I'm talking about the kind of lie that says is deceitful or hurtful... like going around telling people a spouse of a friend is cheating on said spouse when there is no evidence to it. These types of lies are unacceptable. I think it really boils down to personal preference and I don't care what the psychologist of the hour has to say about it. It's not good for your health or well being.

Not So Private After All....

It seems that in recent months America has really begun to change. It shouldn't matter which party you're affiliated with. What should matter is that we are Americans. What should matter is that we have a Constitution that is suppose to govern our land.

I was talking to a friend and he was telling me about this website called cars.gov There is a program out there called Cash for Clunkers. He sent me a link to a portion of Glenn Beck's show because what my friend told me so foreign and so unbelievable to me that I HAD to have proof!

First off, let me tell you right now DO NOT I repeat DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!! If you go to cars.gov you will have to sign an agreement that looks like your typical TOS (Terms of Service) agreement. However, upon actually reading it this is what it says verbatim!!!

"This application provides access to the DoT CARS system. When logged on to the CARS system, you computer is considered a Federal computer system and is property of the US Government. Any or all uses of this system and all files on this system may be intercepted, monitored, recorded, copied, audited, inspected, and disclosed to authorized CARS, DoT, and law enforcement personnel, as well as authorized officials of other agencies both domestic and foreign."

What the hell is that?!!! Since when has private property been considered property of the federal government? My answer is NEVER! I wonder how many people have realized this was what they were agreeing to? How many people actually sat down to read this?!!! I wonder how many people have already been victims of this?

Please click here for the full news video on this....

Our New Family Member!

Since I have moved here, I have had the opportunity to meet many new people. Now that I'm here (even though the winters are horrible) I wouldn't move. My girls are established and have made friends. I also have made friends.

I want to go back for a second and talk about military life. My husband and I met while we were in the Marine Corps. I got out; he stayed in. So most of the time we were married, we moved and saw people come and go. It's really hard not to get desensitized to people. I know I am guilty of it. The military lifestyle had my perspective of people all jacked up. Sure, I would be nice to people because we all need human contact, but at the same time I would never get to close to people. I always hated seeing people pack up and move and deep in the pit of my stomach I knew I would never see them again. Sure I might call, text, or email them but the good times were over.

Now to flash forward to present day... Knowing that, now you can understand why I consider my lifestyle now to be so special.

Now moving forward to my new family member... One of my girlfriends that I have made since living here has a best friend that bought a full blooded yellow lab. The problem is that she was constantly locking him up in a cage for at least 14 hours a day. So my friend said I'm taking your dog and I'm not bringing him back. My friend and I had been discussing the dog for a while. So she finally brought the dog to her house.

My husband and I were discussing how he would get along with my current dog. The answer is actually pretty well. He has a humping issue because he isn't fixed and the other issue is him constantly trying to race out the door. If anybody heads towards the door he practically knocks whoever is there to race out the door. But he is a really good dog and he is still a puppy so he's trainable. He is slightly hyper, but not like brand new puppy hyper. He's a year and a few months like 3.

So our newest member is Ralph the yellow lab =)

Mommy and Me Tea!!!

Today is my birthday. Every year I have one and every year everyone except my mother forgets about me. Over the years, I have learned to deal with it and accept it as no big deal. I don't know if it's just me or if it's the general population, but as I get older birthdays are just another day.

So last night, I went to karate class as usual. I got special attention from the instructor because I wasn't doing a certain move as well as I should be. I got out of class at nearly 9:30 instead of my regular 9:15. My husband calls me and says where are you? I said on my way home. He said well hurry up I miss you. I was like okay... I kind of figured something was up, but I just didn't know what.

Anyways, I pull into the garage and get out of my truck and walk in. At the bottom of the stairs there are a bunch of balloons scattered everywhere and all up the stairs. I continue walking up the stairs and see a lit birthday cake and my kids and husband jump out and yell SURPRISE!! So they had cake while I ate the icing flower!! (I am on a diet well more changing my lifestyle and just generally being healthy)

So that was last night...

Then today I go to school to drop my daughter off like every morning and I ran into a friend of mine where she told me about a Mommy and Me Tea Party. She told me I should stop by and see if they would let me sign up. So of course I did. And I have to tell you it was so much fun!! It was a "Fancy Nancy" theme. My kids love Fancy Nancy.

I have to tell you though it was all the drama. We had to go through dresses because my girls just HAD to dress up. So the girls wore cute little Summer dresses. My girls told me since they were wearing dresses I had to wear one too! So I got dressed up in a Summer dress too.

So we get to where we're going. We go inside and as soon as we walk in we're handed Boa's and Opera Glasses. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. We got the Opera Glasses so we could "see" the story teller. She was reading one of Fancy Nancy's new books. After the story, it was cupcake, tea, and lemonade time. Then we moved to the back to a bigger part of the room and we made sun catchers and tissue flowers! Then we came back and read one more Fancy Nancy and then they gave away Pupitinis! OMG my girls went to heaven. I didn't see them again for the rest of the night except when they came up to ask if they could put PJs on.

So today made me realize how much love I have in my life. My girls and my husband love me so much. I have the sweetest kids in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

It Does Not Matter What Color I Am.... Thank You Very Much!

This is my first time of ever doing "Blogger". I have kept up many blogs over the years and at one point or another I have given them up. Sometimes, real life just gets in the way. Don't we all have that problem of being so incredibly busy and rarely having time for ourselves? I know with myself I never really have time. Just since I started trying to write this about 15 minutes ago, my phone has rung 4 times. I know right?

Unfortunately, it has caused me to lose my train of thought and I can't even remember what I wanted to talk about. It seems I have been pretty scatter brained lately. I am so busy with school, work, kids, family activities, and the PTA I never have time for me anymore. Other PTA members always harass me about why I don't go to the PTA meetings.... How about because I don't really care what they have to say? I don't need to be made aware about gang issues... as if my small little village has any kind of gang! The most excitement we get is getting to see people fist fight. Which brings me to another point... The cops here racially profiled me and my daughter when we were just walking down the street. At first, I was like nooo they couldn't have done that because I'm white. You never hear about that kind of stuff happening to white people, but later after I thought about it I knew that was exactly what they did and you know I was PISSED!!

I was walking with my daughter down the street on the sidewalk in our neighborhood. It was starting to get dark and by the time we got back to our house it was dark. We were about to cross the street in the cross walk and my daughter says mommy a car! I said don't worry about it, we'll be across the street before the car gets here, WRONG! I was actually concerned the car was going to try to run us over because as soon as the car saw us you could hear the driver step on the gas and the car went VROOOOM! So then the car gets right up on us and a damn spotlight turns on blinding both me and my daughter. I turned around to look at the car and that's when I realized from the shape that it was a police car. The spotlight switched off and I proceeded to yell at the cop. I was mad. I guess really I should be grateful they are patrolling, but surely they could tell that A) I was not a teenager trying to cause trouble and B) I had my small child with me. I went home and told my husband and got angry about it too.

I don't care what color you are... the cops should never be allowed to drive up on you and blind you just because you are walking down the street literally minding your own business. What was even worse is the other day a group of black kids were walking down the street towards the gas station and the cops came out of nowhere and detained all of the kids for just walking down the street. Granted they were sort of walking in the road and it was unsafe and they should have been corrected for that, but not actually detained and taken anywhere in the back of the car. As soon as that damn cop realized that I was a white adult female they back pedaled quick. I am still considering writing city counsel and the chief of police, but I have a feeling that it wouldn't do a bit of good.

Okay so this blog started off about never having time for myself and ended up being about racial profiling. Next time, I will stay on topic. I just got side tracked and at the moment I have to go make, lunch, snacks, and make sure my kids are getting dressed like they are suppose to be... except I can hear them downstairs playing. So while it's cute, I have to go yell at them so that we can get to school on time!!