Thoughts and Confessions

I have to be ho nest, I rarely read articles about myself. When they get ready to cover me in the media, I usually avoid watching. I just always expect the responses to be negative just like the Marine Corps was.
A very good friend of mine who is also a very well known advocate told me that I really should read when they cover me. I've been thinking about it and then finally I did it.
I was completely shocked & amazed by article after article. People are genuinely Infuriated by what happened to me and how they treated me. They realize that if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.
The outrage & support has been amazing. I never expected .... never even crossed my mind that complete strangers would hear my story and fight for me. They took my voice and kicked me when I was down but then the public was on my side and it felt like justice was alive again. The morals I thought most had lost were back & for the first time in my life the public's voice had become louder than my commander and every other participant. All the times they put me down the public cried louder and it was in support of me. I am the girl next door. I am the All American kid who is going places that has potential... and it was cut short out of discrimination and gender hate and bias.
I can keep going because people like you support me. They help me prove my point. So to all the reports who helped me, thank you. It has still been a long hard road, but it's been made easier with your verbal support. ♡

Exactly How Much Power Should Commanders Have?

Every appearance I make, people say to me that Commanders need total control for the "good order of the unit". I have to be honest, I really want to ask those people 'what is wrong with you?'! Let's break this down barney style and think about it logically- Commanders have no law enforcement investigation experience. They aren't lawyers. They have absolutely no legal or investigative experience. Why on earth would anyone try to say Commanders should be the judge and jury for a criminal trial? If the person you loved got raped would you want the Commander "investigating" your case? I doubt it. If you need heart surgery, do you go to the foot doctor? What I want to know even more is why Commanders are even fighting to keep the ability to be judge and jury... Doesn't it make more sense to pass this to "Agency X" who does have the experienced investigators? That cuts the Commander off the hook for any disagreements or mess ups. That means s/he can get back to playing golf (unless POTUS is coming around) What kind of example is the brass setting for our junior Marines, Sailors, and Soldiers? They know that this behavior is wrong, but they see their leaders doing it but know they can't speak up either... for the same reason rape survivors can't come forward- retaliation. When is the brass going to get serious and admit they are wrong? No one asked for all of the Commander's power.. just to have felony crimes investigated and treated as what they are- violent crimes.

Incompetent Treatment

I often wonder why the VA as inadequate services for females. The simple explanation is they are more male than female veterans. But really, that's just a surface answer. If you are a female veteran, like I am, you already have an idea.

In the military culture, females are second class. The point of view is of one that we don't belong or we belong for the sole purpose of supporting the males. I won't get into that particular scenario any further for right now.

Apparently the same philosophy is at the VA as well. Now I have to ask myself why and how? Most of the people at the VA are not actually veterans. Amazing right? So where do they get this idea, this culture carry over? They shouldn't be in the thought process of females not belonging. I understand in my clinic and hospital, cater mainly to males. In my clinic, I am 1 of 6 females versus the hundreds of males they see daily. In that aspect, I get it. However, the point is, why is my treatment and/or care inadequate?

Some males I know can go in and have no problem getting great care. They get scripted narcotics without transferring medical records in. Their word about their pain is automatically taken at face value. When I go in, I have to fight to get them to treat me and believe I really have pain. Why is that?

I am service connected, which means I have a certified disability from the military. This automatically puts me into a higher priority group. Since my disability rating is higher, my priority is higher. Why is it when I call to get in, I can't. However, these same males that I know aren't even service connected and in a lower priority than me and somehow can get in quicker than I can. I really want to know how that works! That's against their own rules, but yet they break them.

At the end of the day, the same discrimination carries over from the military to the VA. I have no answer for why though. All I know is it infuriates me to be treated as a second class citizen. I gave this country and my branch of service, my blood, sweat, and tears literally. I deserve the same respect my male counterparts are automatically given. I shouldn't be forced to take my service connected health issues to a private doctor to receive treatment. If you're service connected, they are required to take care of that health issue. They broke you so they get to fix you.... unless you're the wrong gender. If so, prepare for an uphill battle that will take every trick you know plus some to win!

A reporter that I spoke with sometime ago thought it was huge that females are mistreated. I said well, being as I have lived it many times over, it's not that big of a deal to me. In fact, females expect it. Ask any female active duty or vet and see what they say. It's common knowledge to us. I know there was a time when I just expected that civilians knew this. However, after dealing with the media and civilians, I have realized that the majority of Americans have no clue what the culture in the military is. It doesn't matter which branch you were/are in, the culture is the same. I have sisters from every branch and eras and it is common knowledge and still the same culture. The US Government, who by the way is being sued for the mistreatment of females, says we as females should expect it and then goes on to say (paraphrased here) that we are collateral damage. We are the expendable ones. That is exactly how we are treated.

It makes me angry that I gave part of my life to this country and the government sees me as collateral damage and expendable. I am a human and all humans have basic god given rights. How dare the government think of me as anything less than a human who was hired by them to do a job... not a POS and to be treated as such for being the wrong gender. How dare the VA treat me as a POS, denying care for my service connected disability, allowing non-service connected males to be seen more quickly than me. I earned those benefits. I got hurt in the line of duty only to come home to a VA who has taken the same stance against females as the military.

The civilians have no clue that we are treated this way. I have been thanked more times than I know what to do by civilians men and women alike. That's always followed by what branch were you in and then the jaw dropping. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am really that tough lol Back to the subject at hand though... Americans don't know and them treating me in this manner proves it. The discrimination is military and VA specific.

I am not expendable or collateral damage and I should have to expect mistreatment as part of taking the job. I am a human being. Treat me like one.